Valentine’s Day brings stress. Regardless of our relationships status, on February 14th every year our biological chemistry moves into the danger zone. Why? Because it’s one day of the year that is all about love . . . . and loneliness. Relationships and loneliness cause people intense anguish and mental suffering.
Forget about the hearts, candies, cards and flowers. Those are just minor commercial irritations - or delectable surprises. The deeper sore spot is that we're not really happy. Valentine’s Day reminds us that something is still missing in our lives that we thought would have been fulfilled at this stage of the game – boundless, blissful, endless love and happiness.
I don’t need to point out that the material wealth you’ve amassed has nothing to do with your happiness. Nor does your fame, social status, business clout or honorary awards. You already know this. And it’s not about finding that wonderful person to be with in relationship. Single people believe their loneliness will miraculously turn into bliss when the right person enters their lives. And married people think that if they had a different partner or could "fix" the partner they have, then all their problems would disappear.
Happiness has nothing to do with which side of the relationship fence we’re on. Single, married, separated or divorced, happiness is about you, not him, her, them or me. Valentine’s Day is just an uncomfortable and sometimes painful reminder that we want to love and be loved so badly. We want that black hole void inside to be filled with sunshine and white light. I've been there, I know how much the emptiness hurts.
This aching inside a message. It's our deepest yearning to be in harmonious relationship with all of life. It’s a good thing, sort of. The pain, also known as apathy, malcontent and fear, is telling us to keep reaching. We think we are reaching for partnership, happiness and even good health, but what we are really seeking is inner peace.
In a state of inner peace we have no desires, no yearning and no emotional, mental or psychological pain. Even physical pain has no significance. Inner peace is the state of being where magic happens. We’ve all been there at least once in our lives. We've all experienced a miracle. Inner peace is the place where we stop seeking love (we stop seeking anything) and recognize that we are love and have so much to give the world.
So this year don’t beat yourself up because you don’t have a partner or you want to exchange the one you do have for a better, newer model. And don’t make Valentine’s Day the scapegoat for your discontent in love, life and relationships. Instead, ask yourself, “How do I achieve inner peace?" This is the question that will move your mountains.